Sometimes angels come without wings

Please excuse us for being absent for a while, we have been cuddling our new sweet girl! And I got to thinking it was only fair of me to share our little blessing and her birth story...
(Pre-warning long and detailed)

After a month of being on bed rest because of never ending pressure and constant contractions we made it to 37 weeks!! My doctor who I adore and am so grateful for by the way promised that if i could at least make it that far she would not try to stop my labor and McKinlee would be strong and healthy, because of all of the questions and worry Dr. Z went ahead and scheduled me to be induced on Febuary 24th when I would be 39 weeks. I was so happy to finally have a date to look forward to and to know we would be holding our baby in a few short weeks. On Tuesday February 14th I had my regular scheduled weekly appointment, she checked me and told me I was at a 3-3 1/2 and 75% effaced and to my surprise she ask if I would like her to strip my membranes (I never had it done with Rilynn so I didnt know what to expect at all) I agreed and before I knew it she was done and was telling me she would be on call at the hospital on Wed. and Sat. and hoped she would see me there soon. My mom and I stayed in Flag for a few hours and walked around to see if my contractions picked up any that day, I felt good enough about going home for the night and spent the next day cleaning house, packing hospital bags, bouncing on a ball, timing contractions, and just spending time with Rilynn. At about 7 Wed. night I asked my dad, brother, father-in-law, and Pauls grandpa to come and give me a blessing. My dad gave the sweetest blessing and the whole time I could feel McKinlee moving softly in my belly, I truly felt it wouldn't be much longer before we were seeing her beautiful face. After everyone went home I started feeling different and I noticed I was bleeding more than just the normal spotting, I asked Paul what he thought I should do and we called the hospital. Dr. Z told me that the only way she would know is if I came to Flag. and got checked and that if I was at a 4 she would go ahead and break my water and we would get things going! So we got Rilynn over to grandpa and got the car loaded with grandmas. To make this less of a novel lets just say our drive to Flag was eventful with it being 11 at night and getting pulled over to see the look of shock on the officers face when my mother-in-law explained she was only speeding because I was in labor on the back seat lol. We finally made it to the hospital a little after midnight and got all settled in. The nurse came in and checked me and announced to the excited room that I was at a 4 with a bulging bag of water and that we would be having a baby!! They offered to let me sleep a few hours or to go ahead and start a gel (which they explained would make my contractions harder and closer together) I was ready to meet our princess. The gel did as promised and my contractions started to pick up, Paul helped me waddle around the hospital and after 2 hours I was leaning over the bed rocking my hips back and forth. Dr. Z came in to check me told me I was at a 6 and broke my water. The nurse then asked me if I wanted the epidural (I had one with Ri and never felt one thing her labor felt like a cinch) but for some reason I had an odd feeling about getting one this time maybe it was because they had already tried to put in an iv and blown out two of my veins or when he came in and I saw him he kinda scared me a little Im not sure but either way I went ahead and agreed to have him do it. I was holding still leaned over the pillow holding Paul's hand when I started to feel like something wasnt right, I never felt like my spine was cracking with Ri so I told him it was hurting...he didnt say anything...then the burning in my hip came I told him...he didnt say anything....then my leg was on fire and I screamed out in pain...still he said nothing to me! Paul's eyes kept asking me why it was hurting this much and why the guy wasnt doing anything about it I was crying and telling Paul I was sorry and then there was a big pop in my leg he had blown a nerve and I told the guy again how bad my leg was hurting which was pointless cause he ignored me. Then he said he was done and I could lay down I remember looking at Paul and telling him I was sorry for crying out and that I was embarrassed he told me that it wasnt right and that I should not apologize. I laid there for a second and the contractions started to hit hard, hard enough that I was trying to breath thru them and not squeeze Pauls hand off at the same time after all that the epidural had failed! The anestizeologist (sp?) came back in which I was not to happy about and said that if I was still in that much pain that we needed to think about doing the epidural over my first thought was no way are you touching me again I can do this on my own...I remember saying a silent prayer over and over to Heavenly Father begging him to not let this man attempt my epidural again...I told the nurse I was having lots of pressure and she told me I was at a 7...I just kept praying and breathing and praying...he told me he would give me 5 more minutes before trying the epidural again I could see the look of dread on Pauls, my mother in laws, and my moms faces I promised myself I was going to do this on my own I had already made it this far with no pain relief I could do this. I kept saying my little prayer that McKinlee would be ok and that I would have the strength to get her here on my own...the nurse warned me that shift change was at 7 and that if I had not had her by then that the new doctor and nurse would take over this was at 6:30 after everything I was not going to have her without my doctor there. Then the incredible urge came, I told the nurse I have to push she looked at me and said no I just checked you your only at a 7. I scram at her well I am pushing right now! Dr. Z came running in and 3 pushs later McKinlee Grace Ottmann was born right there on the bed, at 6:59 am on February 16th 2012 all 7 pounds 2 ounces and 19 1/2 inches of her in the middle of shift change, with a room full of nurses, no dry eyes in sight. I remember looking at her and how beautiful she was, thinking how much she looked like Ri, and how amazing it was to hear her loud cry fill the room. I remember looking up into Paul's eyes and feeling so much love and joy, I remember thanking my Heavenly Father for silent miracles, for the hard year we had behind us, and this amazing gift I was holding in my arms. I remember being embarrassed and apologizing to the room for yelling out and feeling instantly sorry for the girl next to me who probably thought I was a big wimp, and then I remember felling so much appreciation for every women before me that has had a baby naturally, I remember thinking holy crap that was hard and it hurt, and then I remember looking into McKinlee's eyes and feeling so much love appreciation and gratitude, and every pain was washed away everything we had just been thru every heartache from the past year was worth this amazing moment was worth the love flowing in that room and I remember thinking and knowing that sometimes angels come without wings I knew ours had!
Today I sat and watch my girls playing on the floor together, I watched the joy in Rilynn's eyes as she kissed her sisters little head and saw McKinlee's face break out in smile when she heard Paul's voice from across the room. Today I want to remember how much I love these little girls and the man that helped me have them how blessed I feel how grateful I am and how special each moment we are given together is.
Please forgive me while I leave you with some pictures of our blessings and I go back to loving on them :)




All our love!!
Paul Kera Rilynn & McKinlee